Thank you for stopping in to read my #fridayflash. This Saturday, June 22 we are celebrating International Flash Fiction Day (the link will take you to the international flash fiction contest where you can read this year’s entries – super stuff here)! Be sure to visit the Friday Flash community to read more fabulous flash fiction by outstanding authors.
My story this week – This is Goodbye, is rated PG according to my standards. I suppose I should give readers a warning – ? It’s a bit sad, but optimistic too….I hope. In any case, enjoy!
This is Goodbye, by Deanna Schrayer
When Bronwyn heard the rumble of Luke’s Harley fading down the road her fists uncurled and her knees unlocked. She sank to the cold, hard floor, twisted up in a ball and wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling them into her chest and rubbing her dry shins.
Her dead mother’s breath wafted through the screen door and tickled her chin. You’re okay baby, he will never hurt you again. You’re strong.
Bronwyn’s cheek slid across the tear-stained linoleum. Chester licked the salty puddle and brushed his soft fur against her nose. She sat up and lifted the cat onto her lap, sniffling as she rubbed her face into his back. “We’ll be all right Chester….we’ll be alone now.”
Chester mewed softly.
A chill shivered through Bronwyn. “We were already alone,” she whispered.
cats definitely intuit & respond to human emotions… if they choose to that is! They’re way more emotionally acute than dogs
Sad, but nice little vignette. 🙂
Another cat lady in the making….
Sorry, but that was just so sad that I had to lighten the mood a bit. 😉
I saw this as hopeful, in a way. The worst is over, now she can start and maybe find a decent person. And I agree about cats… they can be a pill, but they’re there for you when you really need them.
I definitely saw the hopeful side of it, Deanna. And cats are good companions.
I especially liked the line “We were already alone.” It sounds like she’s ready to move on. Some goodbyes are good, I guess. 🙂
This is a great portrait of an unfortunately common situation. Beautiful buildup to a very perceptive last line.
I can’t help thinking she needs a dog! Hopefully Luke won’t be back.
Thank you all so much for your kind comments. This was taken from a very small scene of a much longer work (that has not wanted to end). I had entirely too much backstory in the several paragraphs before this and it helped a lot to pull this bit out and “flash” it.
Thanks again!
Oh, I LOVED this! I suppose mostly because i’ve had those moments and you captured the emotion, the physical sensations and the scene perfectly. Knowing that it comes from a longer work makes me curious about all that backstory you mentioned…
Thank you so much Beverly and I apologize for having taken so long to respond. Hopefully one day this story will be “finished” (whatever that means). 😉
Animals always sense when you’re in pain. Sounds like she’s better off without him. Nice piece that captured the emotion of the moment.
Loving the new photo Deanna. You go Girl! 🙂
Hi Deanna. Since I stopped writing #fridayflash to concentrate on writing flash for #RFW I’ve missed your writing. I occasionally pop over and have quite a read. You have so much good stuff here.
I loved the raw emotion in this story and can see it as part of a much broader landscape. “We were already alone.” is a good sentence with so many possibilities.
Denise
Hey Denise, so great to see you! Thanks so very much for your kind comments. I’ve not been posting Friday flash as much as I’d like (though I have been writing at least). Hopefully we’ll soon post on the same day. 🙂